How Children of the Earth Should Have Ended
by esking
Summary: Because this was all I could think of when I watched Jack talking to the 456.
1. Chapter 1

**Try this on for size, hmmm?**

Jack stared into the cloudy tank, trying to discern a shape among the mist, but there was none. All there was was a voice, vowing to destroy the human race. Jack took a deep breath-

-but his next sentence was cut off by a flash of light and a high-pitched buzzing, as a man materialized right in front of him, facing the 456 tank. From behind Jack could see that he was wearing a tweed jacket and a bright red fez, and was holding a mop, at which the man stared with some perplexion. Then he seemed to notice the tank.

"So," he said, in a bright, nasally voice, "just what exactly do you think you're doing here?"

"We," said the slow, deep voice, "want the children."

"Oh, of course, you want the _children,_" the man began pacing before the glass wall. "Of course, of course, of- NO! You don't get to come take children from random planets! You've been restricted under section five-acorn-beta-two of the Shadow Proclamation from planets above a level four, and guess what," he gestured at the floor. "This is level five. SO!" Jack jumped at the sudden raise in the volume, "I suggest that you let those children from 1965 go, back exactly the way they were, lift the psychic wave from all the kids, and bugger off back to your own galaxy before I have to stop you, because make no mistake. I will."

"We…" began the 456, "do not…fear you."

"Oh, you don't, do you?" The man tossed the mop from one hand to the other. "Well, that was only your first mistake. Scan your records, go ahead. Because you're not the first to come to this planet, not by a long shot. Mm-hmm, check out all those other guys and what _they _wanted to do to Earth's inhabitants. Now look at the success rate. Zero percent. _Zero percent_. And do you know why that is?"

The man stopped pacing and held the broom still. "Because of me. Hello." His voice was still bright and cheery, but Jack shivered at the underlying menace it contained. "I'm the Doctor. Basically…run."

Jack stared at the man's back. The _Doctor!_ There was a great trembling roar, and a column of flame shot up at the ceiling from the glass tank. The room seemed to suddenly glow much brighter. The man turned around to face Jack. He grinned.

"Hello, Captain. Nice to see you again! And Ianto Jones, I've heard so much about you. Been keeping busy, have you?"

**Because this was all I could think of while I was watching Jack talk to the 456.**


	2. An Even Simpler Fix for the 456

**An even simpler fix for the four-five-six. Yes, this slogan _is_ trademarked. See my PR manager for usage agreement. **

**Jack and Martha may get slightly out of character as I mold them to embody the outraged, sarcastic tone I adopt when relating this story to others (generally those who neither know nor care one jot about Ianto or the innocent children of the earth. *Sigh*)**

Jack was not at all surprised to see the Hub's great circular door roll sideways late in the evening to reveal a grim-faced Martha Jones. She stalked forward, all business, until she stood beside him, facing a computer monitor displaying squiggly lines of audio. The 456's message.

"So I take it UNIT isn't going to be much help," said Jack without looking at her.

Martha shook her head. "They're stumped. We've tested everything we can without arousing the 456's suspicions, but there's not much we can do."

"We're not giving them the kids." Jack's voice was firm, but Martha thought she heard a crack. A tiny crack in Jack's shell through which could be seen something much darker, something afraid and ashamed.

"What other option is there?" She felt sick just saying it. They were talking about _millions_ of _children_, and who knew how many others? They had no way of knowing that the aliens would keep their word and leave them alone. They could just as easily wipe out the entire planet and keep it for their own. Her mind drifted unbidden to the dozen missiles buried beneath the Earth's surface. This was what they had been prepared for. This had always been what they were preparing for. UNIT, Torchwood. Everyone.

"I don't know," Jack whispered. He rubbed a hand over his face. It didn't yet show his years, the centuries he'd lived, but Martha knew that one day it would. It was an odd thing to consider. She would die. She would be killed in the line of duty, or peacefully close her eyes and never open them while she lay in a soft feather bed in a cabin in the country. She might die in a massacre orchestrated by the 456 one week from now. But Jack would still be there. No matter what happened, he would just keep living, after everyone else was dead. He would live through New New York and New New New York and New New New New New New New York all the way until fifteen News New York. He would see her again, long after she was dead. Her and the Doctor.

_The Doctor._

Martha gripped Jack's arm tightly, so tight he gasped in momentary surprise and pain and looked around at her. "What?"

"I know how we can stop them," she said, her eyes positively glowing.

"How?" Jack looked disbelieving at best, maybe even pitying.

Martha grinned. "There's this amazing device that I have," she said, speaking very fast. "It's incredible, you won't believe it. And it can save everyone on the planet."

"Martha, we've tested every weapon we can find, believe me," said Jack.

Martha kept on grinning. "No, I mean it, I can save everyone. Watch." She slowly reached into her jacket pocket. Jack saw the outlines of her fingers wrap around something and then she withdrew her hand and opened her fingers.

Lying in her palm was a small plastic object, irregular in shape and a dull silver, with a small shiny rectangle in the center of its surface. Jack stared at it disbelievingly, although in awe or skepticism Martha couldn't tell.

She seemed to break the object in half until it closer resembled an oval, not quite all the way flat. There were buttons on one half of it, and she pressed three, then held the amazing, world-saving device to her ear and waited.

…

A few seconds later, a luminous smile spread across her face and she said, "Hello, Doctor. Would you mind popping by for a bit, we've got a little problem we need help with. Excellent, see you in a mo'."

**AND EVERYONE LIVED! JANTO FOREVER!**

**Apologies for any inconsistencies with CoE. I haven't watched it in a few months, so I tried to keep it vague and without specifics. But my point still stands. Gwen's whole morbid philosophical "Maybe sometimes he looks away from the Earth in shame blah blah blah" is patooie. **

**Also, "Dinosaurs on a Spaceship"! Did anyone get the feeling that Brian Pond (Williams, whatever) is rather like Wilfred? And distinctly Arthur Weasly-ish in appearance? 'Cause I did. Also, WHOLOCK! Lestrade all the way baby!**


End file.
